Sarah Palin and The Cabinet of Oz

It may seem as though this entry is a digression from my usual theme of single-woman-writer-transitioning-to-married-life, but I can assure you, politics is playing a big part in my writing as well as my home life, so here it is:

I have a strong feeling I'm not the only one whose attitude about Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin is moving from disdain to downright fearful. Whatever did John McCain have in mind when he selected this woefully inept individual as his running mate? I have a feeling it wasn’t just John McCain. He must have been influenced (if not overtly coerced) by the Cabinet of Oz.

The Cabinet of Oz is the name I give this mysterious body of national decision-makers. (Others might call it the Council for National Policy, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re only one part.) There seems to be a great and powerful group at work that comprises more than just the President and his cabinet. Maybe we know some of their names (like Dick Cheney), but there are others who we will never know due to their ÜberUltraTopSecret status.

What kind of power do I believe The Cabinet of Oz wields? The Cabinet of Oz was responsible for throwing the last two elections, placing—and then securing—George W. Bush into the position of (figurehead) President. The Cabinet of Oz started the war in Iraq instead of smoking out Osama bin Laden and bringing him to justice after “The Tragic Events.”

Most recently, The Cabinet of Oz chose Sarah Palin as the Republican Vice Presidential candidate…and I don’t think they’re done with her yet.

Have you noticed how the media has been treating Sarah Palin as though she, and not John McCain, may be the next President of the United States? There is concern about McCain’s health; of course the logical next step is to question Palin’s validity as President. But how much focus does this really need? “Heartbeat away from the presidency” has become a talking point because of the Palin-as-President scenario. There’s a kind of prophetic energy about the press she’s receiving. It’s almost implied that McCain couldn’t possibly make it through a term, so when you see Palin, think President.

And that would be fine, if she were a decent choice for a running mate. But she isn’t. What we have here is a good old American reality TV freakshow. Sarah Palin has reached a celebrity status of the same caliber as Americans’ sick fascination with Anna Nicole Smith. Made delirious by our incredulity with the fact that someone so impossibly far-fetched could have been tapped as possible VP, we’ve been glued to the television and the Internet—Dems and Reps alike—obsessively sucking up every morsel of information we can about her.

Now that we know, what are we going to do about it?

Palin—while easy on the eyes—is vacuous, inarticulate, inexperienced, untraveled, and closed-minded. And of course she’s power-hungry, but not smart enough to hatch her own plan for world dominance. Just what the Cabinet of Oz would want in the figurehead seat. And they’ll probably make sure she gets in. If not this year, then four years from now, after they’ve let the Dems attempt to pull us out of this colossal economic disaster and fail. Then they’ll train the spotlight right back onto Palin.

Besides the probability that some mysterious group of soulless criminals are the true leaders of our country, there are a few other reasons I believe our current political situation has shifted from unfortunate to frightening now that Palin is center stage.

During the Vice Presidential debate, Palin announced she was now going to address "just every day American people." She gave her shout-out to "Joe Six-pack" and the "Hockey Moms.” What astounded me was that she didn’t seem to realize that “Joe” and “Mom” are not the only "every day" people of this nation. Is she implying that those of us who are educated, intelligent, and articulate are not Americans? Sure, she was appealing to the demographic of the “average” American. But if she were voted into office, she wouldn’t be governing that one demographic. Where are the rest of us in all this? Are we looked over for being “elite,” as Barack Obama has been accused of being? And if we are considered elite because we went to college (and learned something there), what's the point of Republicans rallying to improve the education system? Why not simply lobby for alcoholism training for men and driving lessons for women?

The irony is that Obama's proposed tax plan would actually help the very yokels Palin is talking (down) to. But distracted by the folksy, down home puppet show, Joe and Mom will be voting for a world that doesn't care a whit about them—unless they’re millionaires, in which case they get the metaphorical key to the Executive Washroom. But that’ll never happen.

Here’s the kicker: At the end of the Vice Presidential debate, Palin grinds home the message that she and John McCain will fight for our nation’s freedom. In her words: “We have to fight for our freedoms, also, economic and our national security freedoms….We will fight for it, and there is only one man in this race who has really ever fought for you, and that's Senator John McCain.” Who are we fighting? Who is threatening our national security, exactly? No one started a war with us. Sorry, one terrorist attack (probably sanctioned by The Cabinet of Oz so they’d have an excuse to invade Iraq for oil) does not an invasion make. In fact, if anyone is threatening the freedom of the American people, it’s our current government with their wire-tapping, the Information Awareness Office, and the entire Patriot Act.

I see the plan. Get your people fearful. Make them look to you as their only hope. Spout patriotic slogans and give them a pretty face to look at on the nightly news. Lock in their loyalty. That’s the formula for total domination. And for The Cabinet of Oz, Sarah Palin fits the bill.

From The Boston Globe to The Guardian to The Huffington Post (not to mention a smattering of political blogs and message boards across our fair Interweb), the media has prepped us. So, should the Republicans take this election, don’t be surprised if McCain quite suddenly becomes ill and is locked away in some hospital (à la Arafat/Sharon/Castro), forcing Sarah Palin to carry on for him. If that happens, say good-bye to your freedom, folks. Bye-bye choice. See you, hard-earned cash. So long, civil rights. It’s all over.

And the day Palin gets sworn into office as President of the United States of America is the day I start posting these blogs from Canada.