What is Work?

I've been back home from India for about five months now. Although I have been asked by many caring friends and family how the trip was, what happened, was it all I hoped...I have been unable to say anything but that it was lovely...secretly knowing that it was also hard, depressing, enraging and also completely enlightening.

The hard parts weren't just the field visits to rural villages where I experienced real poverty first-hand. Mainly, it was the sexual repression of women that I was well-prepared to encounter, but not numb enough to remain psychologically untouched by for 90 days straight. Still, that's life in Rajasthan. No big deal. It's obviously worked for them for thousands of years, so who am I to complain?

As the weeks went on after arriving home, I began to see that this trip really did have some significant effects.

For example, I no longer drink on a regular basis. I can't drink; my insides seem to have been irreparably altered by being on Doxycycline for three months straight. Even the occasional evenings of a few glasses of red wine with friends requires me to take the next day off and remain relatively close to the bathroom.

My desire to have a child increased dramatically. I had been randomly taken to two separate Shiva temples and couldn't help but make that one...last...prayer...

I've lost all the Hindi I learned, although for some reason I still know how to say, "I'm going to take a shower."

I've come to some peace about being a global nomad, but I battle with my obligations to home and family. This last trip to India nearly killed them; how can I keep leaping off to some foreign country without worrying that I'm letting them down?

What life-work, then, is the right path for me? Am I supposed to concentrate on finding a life partner, settle down, and procreate (finally)? Or am I supposed to follow the other bliss and travel, write, learn from and share with others in the world?